After 40 years old, if fate defeats you, you can still start over from the beginning, but if you destroy yourself, there will be no way out. Each middle-aged person on the path to self-destruction will be manifested in different details. Look back at your life, if you have these five signs, be vigilant because it may very likely affect the rest of your life.
1. Appearing shabby
When people reach middle age, all the ups and downs of life are thrown at them, some choose to let go of everything, their eyes deeper when staying up late, their bellies slow and sluggish from sitting for a long time. A TV host once said that the answers are written on the faces of middle-aged people. If someone loses in the battle of life, the first thing he loses is his own image. A blogger shared a photo of his father at the age of 47, in the photo his father looked chubby, with a round face and dull eyes. He had long avoided going out to socialize, content to stay at home scrolling on his mobile phone, then following the blogger's suggestion, he spent half an hour before going out to wash his face and iron his wrinkled coat, and put on a clean pair of shoes.
On the first day he did this, he felt that people around him communicated with him significantly more. Encouraged, he started exercising three to four times a week, every morning standing in front of the mirror, seeing his face becoming sharper, he felt more confident. As he shared his exercise habits with netizens, he gradually developed a habit of writing a diary regularly. Later, some brands noticed the change in his image and actively invited him to collaborate, his once melancholic middle-aged life began to become more vibrant.
A philosopher once said: Image is an extension of inner value, it reveals your understanding of life and the life you are pursuing. Middle-aged people allow fat to freely develop around their waist, which means silently letting their spirit lose flexibility. Taking care of yourself neatly will make your life bright and comfortable.
2. Constantly complaining
The Social Science Department at Boston University once invited a group of people aged 35 to 45 and asked them to narrate a past annoyance. Based on the repeated words in the narratives, the experiment divided them into two groups, one group used words like "everything has passed and I have learned a lot", while the other group said "it's really unfortunate and it would be better if it didn't happen".
Most of the people in the first group were law professors or business executives, while most of the people in the second group were manual laborers with low education. Steve Jobs once said that your complaints today will become predictions for your tomorrow. When people reach middle age, they have a career and a family, as well as debts for cars and houses. Complaining is instinctive, but being obsessed with self-pity will only make you sink deeper into the quagmire of life.
A famous workplace consultant once shared a story in a speech: When he was 37 years old, he fell seriously ill and had to quit his job. When the consultant talked to his friend, she found out that he still hadn't found a job after recovering from the illness, so she wanted to help introduce him to a job. At first, his friend kept telling her how difficult life had become due to the illness. She would gently pat his shoulder and patiently say a few comforting words, then when his friend mentioned the indifference of the former leadership. She stopped talking and only nodded occasionally, until his friend started complaining about colleagues, clients, and even the work process.
The consultant found a reason to leave and never mentioned the job introduction again. Some people have said that the most direct way to defeat a middle-aged man is to let him complain until everyone wants to avoid him. Life is not easy, those who complain when faced with difficulties can only live like a victim drowning in misery.
3. Conservative, stubborn
Someone once asked which type of middle-aged person will decline over time. A comment received numerous likes saying "it's the person who always says I have more experience than you, I'm older than you". Many people, after gaining some experience, often feel that their experience is the best solution to every problem and they reject all opinions or suggestions. However, in this rapidly changing era, what expires faster than food is human experience. If a middle-aged person becomes conservative, the path ahead will only become more precarious. There was a guy named Chu Van Thuan who, when he first came to Thiem Tay to exploit oil, used feng shui compass to choose the drilling location and drilled a well in the first drilling trip.
By reselling the oil-rich land he quickly became a wealthy businessman locally. Later, when the oil wells dried up, Chu Van Thuan had to find new wells to exploit, some suggested that he should spend money to hire a professional geological exploration team to increase the success rate of drilling. Chu Van Thuan said, "Who found this oil well, how can I forget, I still need someone to teach me." As a result, the wells he drilled were all dry. But the more it was like that, the more he didn't listen to others, he just wanted to quickly find a rich well to prove that his judgment was correct.
Within two years, his assets were depleted due to high drilling costs. A reporter once asked Baidu's second richest man in China, Li Yanhong, how to resolve differences in views with new employees. Li Yanhong replied that try to listen to young people because they are the type of people who accept new things. The best thing that time brings to middle-aged people is not status or experience, but calmness, acceptance of what is lacking, and the normalcy of oneself after looking at the world. Whether in work or life, consider different voices as a supplement to yourself rather than prejudices, by maintaining a learning attitude and not getting stuck in what you have seen in the first half of your life, you can aim for success in the second half of your life.
4. Stop adding value to yourself
In recent years, the volatile environment, the stagnation of industries, and the vague prospects have been a test of your ability to withstand risks. Liu Run, former strategic cooperation director at Microsoft, once said the most important thing for middle-aged people is not a stable job but a stable ability. Your job may be unstable, but if you have the skills, then no matter what situation you are in, you will have enough confidence to navigate against the current.
Steve Kerr was once the main player of an NBA team with a million-dollar salary per year, while other players with the same salary as him spent their time leisurely at various entertainment venues after the game. Kerr always took the time to discuss tactical arrangements with the coach or study game videos until late at night. At that time, some teammates often mocked him for receiving a player's salary but worrying about the coach's job, when the older players' physical functions declined, their contract salaries also decreased significantly, and when the US went through a financial crisis, their savings were wiped out. Only Kerr relied on his accumulated coaching skills to transition to coaching and earn a decent income.
You need to constantly improve yourself not to have a better life, but to meet basic survival needs. After middle age, life seems stable but is actually full of risks. Significant income and attractive jobs will not truly allow you to sit back and relax. In a constantly changing society, increasing value for yourself can help you find a stable place to stabilize your life in a world full of changes.
5. Unhealthy relationships
My friend living in the city was obsessed with drinking and socializing with a group of friends. He once shared that if he didn't drink with friends, he didn't know if he could survive. Within six months, all his physical indicators showed warnings and his writing career was almost destroyed. Until one day he had a gastrointestinal hemorrhage and was hospitalized for treatment, the doctor who knew him kept shaking his head and said that since he started playing with that drinking group, he had predicted that this day would come for him.
Many people are like that in this uncertain life, the only way to be happy is to drink with friends and boast without knowing that short-term pleasures and boring jokes all hide a high price behind. Professional skills are wasted, physical functions are declining, and ambitions are gradually being eroded. A philosopher once said if you want to know how a person is living, first look at the people around them, make friends with positive people who can reap motivation for development and breakthroughs, harmonize with satisfied people at the bottom of the valley. Then letting go of yourself will become the main theme in your life.
I thought of my family again (seeing silent love with the family). After I went to school with my parents at the age of 7, my family returned to the countryside. When my mother and I visited her in the country, I was banned from getting close -up with her. I remember the scene where I crawled to her knees and was reprimanded by my mother, but I couldn't tell whether this scene happened. Because of the guilt in my family, I wanted to be close and dare not get close, so I fantasized my mother's reprimand.
When I really faced and dealt with my childhood, it was many years later. I also think it is the second creation of my unjust family. I have stepped out of the sequelae of not being a thief for so many years. This secondary creation is to apologize to the family I have left in my heart. Her mistakes, and also told her because of her, I was learning to be honest and upright. So far, I believe that because of my response to her, I can be healed, restored, and rebuilt after the trauma of the soul. Of course, this process is also my response to those who constantly nourish me.
We need to choose more time to be nourished by love and warmth in life, making them part of themselves, which also requires self -discipline. When we get along with others, we must have the right awareness. We are all people. We have light and dark side at the same time. The more closer people are, the easier it is to see the dark side of the other party, but if we only stare at this Noodles can't take the light face of the other party by ourselves, but we don't know that we are staring at the part of the other party. It is also the projection of our own dark side; vice versa, this is why love seems to have some magical magic. Because the filter of love enlarge the light of each other, the other side cannot be seen. If you have to have such an objective understanding of yourself, you will learn more and more about accepting homework. With this foundation, we can continue to walk on that mature road.
In the Qingming season, it is particularly suitable for my loved ones. I found the prayer of the late famous psychotherapist, Better Hyllange about the ancestor of the family. Friends who need it can recite and feel the state of my mind.
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